The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
