i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
It's shark week go big or go home
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
