Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
She's the barista slut.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
