i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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