Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
