wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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