i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
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