how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
