im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
It's blow job season.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
