Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
sarcasm needs its own font
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
