this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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