Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
