I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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