i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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