somebody snuck up and got me drunk
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
