just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
