I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Randomize
