I think I am morally bankrupt
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
