Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
