We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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