You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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