Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
is wine microwaveable?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
It's rum buckets o'clock
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Randomize
