isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
