I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
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