but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
