did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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