My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Randomize
