nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
