have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
God, you're like boner-b-gone
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
