Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
