Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
