the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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