Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
