Kareoke will never be a sober sport
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
