It was confusing and full of hummus
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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