oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
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