Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
