I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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