One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
