My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
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