i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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