No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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