There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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