Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
