i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
