Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
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