Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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