Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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