He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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