i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
this boner is exhausting
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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