you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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