Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
