Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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